Relax - опустити

 

I have encountered a really impressive video the other day; the speaker meant for it to be demotivational, but truth to be said, it gave me the push, and most importantly, the smile I needed.

So basically, this man gave 9 life lessons, and although I hate all these posts and videos that summarizes everything in a number (5 things leaders do, 10 things you should know to build a career… and all this bullshit), I really fell in love with them so much that I will list them here and share my impressions.

1 – You don’t have to have a dream

As stupid as it might sound, this is fucking liberating! Why would I have a dream? Social norm? Who cares? We have been brought up this way. We need to accomplish something big. But why? Or, some would say: why not? Why not… well, because it’s a complete waste of time. Dreams are big – unlike small goals… and by the time you would accomplish it (if you ever do), you would have a foot on the grave already and no time left to enjoy your accomplishment. Micro ambitions are good, because at least you live multiple micro accomplishments and pleasures.

2 – Don’t seek happiness. Happiness is like an orgasm, if you think about it too much, it goes away!

I couldn’t agree more. And it is hilarious because it’s so true. The more we try to force it, the further we are from making it happen. And yes, I speak about both.

On a more serious note, we are living in a world where the gap between expectations and reality makes us miserable. And the more you surround yourself with people (who are all as miserable themselves as you are – although they don’t show it), the more miserable you get. It’s a vicious circle and unfortunately we did not evolve to be happy beings; these have been extinct already. Is it the right rule of survival / natural selection or not? That is not the question, it is simply a fact. So what to do to make life more bearable? Give up, no need to ask why as long as you understand the what… and get busy trying to make someone else happy! You might get some happiness in return.

3 – Remember all your luck

We are real ungrateful bastards! We forget way too quickly everything good we have. And every single one in this planet have something they can feel lucky about. Even the dying ones.

So yes, feel lucky and forget your failures, understand and accept them, and stop blaming everything and everyone for them. That would help to be compassionate about others’ failures, and luckily, empathy is something we all can work on.

4 – Exercise!

That is something I do not do, and I should! It’s one of the best ways to keep us away from this long luxurious life ahead that makes us so depressed. Luxurious simply because now everything is easier to have. And technology will even make it easier and easier. Think about our ancestors that had to hunt to bring food to the table, and how we casually go to McDonald’s to grab a bite.

Let’s RUN! And avoid this existential anxiety.

5 – Be hard on your opinions

And this is something we don’t do… or barely. We have no critical view on our own opinions, no identification of biases that makes us subjective somehow. On the other hand we are excellent at doing it with others’ opinions.

“Opinions are like assholes, and everyone has one”

6 – Be a teacher!

We should all be amazing teachers! If not as a profession, at least as a way of life by sharing our ideas and knowledge. Knowledge is not granted, and it doesn’t hurt to share it with others.

7 – Define yourself by what you LOVE

I remember my first interview for a job just before the end of Uni, and when they asked me what I wanted to do, I said: “not Finance”.

It is incredible how we define ourselves by what we hate, always in opposition of things while we need to express our PASSION towards what we love, we need to be pro-things and not anti-things. Praise! Never be greedy on praising who we love, what we love and what we respect in life.

8 – Respect people who has less power than you

This was clearly not a discovery for me, maybe because I have been raised in an environment that taught me to do so, to respect the powerless and to value who they are and what they do to keep on going. But what I also do is judging people on the way they treat the ones less powerful than them. We form opinions and value judgments about everything around us after all.

9 – DON’T RUSH

“You don’t already need to know what you are going to do with the rest of your life”.

This was liberating as well! We are mainly lost in this big, big world that is rushing us and letting us rush ourselves; and it is comforting to know that not knowing is OKAY! Of course, sitting on the couch 24/7 and waiting for something to happen won’t do the trick, but there is no need to panic if nothing comes as quick as we would like it to.