I am ....

I don't know who I am.
I've been asked to define myself, to tell what are my core values... I didn't know. The person in front of me had it all figured out, they simply shared 5 core values around which everything revolves. I was amazed and amused. Amazed by how people know themselves so good and amused in front of my lack of words, of my incapacity of saying anything... I couldn't talk, but my heart was racing. My heart felt it all but there was no word to define who I am. It's easy to say that my core value was freedom, it's exactly like trust, it's such a lose word, a sort of bucket in which you can put everything. Am I that shallow? Maybe, but my heart was racing, I was feeling everything.

I've been told once that I am someone who, when I feel something, I feel it fully. I live happiness fully, and sadness as well. Maybe I felt who I was, but even now I am incapable of sharing it. Others say that I am an open book, we can see everything on my face, through my eyes. Was it supposed to be positive or negative, I don't know, and to a certain point, I don't care... Because of one simple question : do I really want others to define me? And yet, I am referring to what they say, to what they think, to what they perceive.

I think it's not that important to me to define myself after all. I am a sort of human ball of emotions, always changing but most importantly, always in a very real and strong relation with what I represent... yes, without being able to point it out or what it is in words.

It is easy to define ourselves by our origin, ethnicity, place of birth, age, profession... name... this is what society is doing to each and every one of us. This is their definition.

My definition would be, I am me, another human being in this vast and yet small planet. I am just another grain of sand in that vast deserted universe... a grain of sand that is incapable of defining herself... And is that so wrong after all?