There is nothing out there... Or within us

A way home?

How do we look at life? Some people say that it's a joke, you need to smile and expect the best. Then, years later, you would laugh at how stupid you were for dreaming so high, for wanting to touch the sky.

I see it differently. I don't see it as a joke, life is tough. Life is sad, empty. It makes you feel tired of it all. We can never win. Maybe that's why I always expect the worst, this way I am never disappointed.

Life is so empty, and I feel like people can never actually be happy. Smiling or laughing is a way to either hide the pain or... a way to believe their own lies, dreams, happiness... We all try so hard, until maybe one day we think we are happy.

With all of this being said... what if there was nothing after death? What if there was no life, no consciousness... that this life time is the only one we have? That means that we carry on with a life that consumes us for nothing. All the pain is vain. And that is scary... void. And then they would say "just try different things, be fun, be happy". Oh yeah? What is "fun"? What is happiness?

When you think about it, it's all set up just right. A perfect balance. With every breath, you die. The more you live, the less you have left to live. It's all meaningless, worthless. There is no goal to achieve. And yet, we are in a society of ants... we wake up, go to work, to school, whatever... go back, and start again, every day, week, month, year after year. We reinvent happiness almost every decade, and the lie continues. You are happy because you work, because of whatever dull definition of success, because you have a partner with whom you share self defined emotions, because you travel, because you achieve your wish list of bullshit, because you have babies... or whatever it is for people to feel "happy". It is all part of an imaginary world we invented. It's all empty. There is nothing out there, and there is nothing within us. And with these wise words, I will wear my dull smile and go out to have what they defined for me as being "fun".